May32011
From Office to Mr. 8 GB
May 3, 2011
09.06 pm
Hi there!! :) I haven’t write for a while, I mean for such a long time actually, because my last post was last year, kekeke~
Anyway, I have some thoughts that I’d like to share here.. So, yesterday I talked with a friend. I forget how it began but somehow she eventually told me some of her problems that make her become more quiet recently. She told me that she wish that she had had a time machine, so that she could come back to three and half years ago and change her past.
Like me, she didn’t choose our college at first, and she was accepted in other university too (she was accepted in Engineering and me in Pharmacy), other faculty which we have more passion on it, the subject that we always dream of. But her parents prefer to choose our college and ask her to choose it rather than the university, again, same as me, when actually we didn’t really want to enter our college. I remember how I used to hate Accounting so much when I was in high school, but then however I decided to choose the college (I was accepted in Government Accounting by the way), and so did my friend. There were so many consideration that time, one of the reasons is because our parents want us to study at that college.
And now she regrets it so much. Some of her friends (who still study in the university that she left) tell her story, like some of them got offers to work overseas and it makes her kind of jealous I think. She wish she were still there, study engineering with them. I don’t blame her, because I ever feel the same as her. I ever feel the hard times struggling with this subject that I even hate. FYI, my dream since I was a child is to be a fashion designer.
I want to make a fabulous dress, nice gown, great shirt, skirt, or T-shirt that will make everyone who wears them looks good. I want to make big size clothes. I want to make moslem outfits too. I even want to make my own clothing lines or boutique or brand. But again, it’s just a dream because now the reality is I’m here and I didn’t study fashion at all.
A couple days ago, when I was home, my mom took me to the tailor and we forgot to bring the clothes design from our magazine. So I decided to draw the design there and the tailor unexpectedly became amazed and excited seeing my sketch. She said that perhaps I have talent to be a fashion designer. My mom totally agree with her of course. And it made me felt sorry for myself for a little bit. It keeps me wondering. if I could do something I really love, something that I have passion on it, what would I be right now? Well, my senior ever say this : “If you don’t do the things you like, you’ll screwed up”.
But comeback to reality, I don’t really feel that I’m totally screwed up. In fact, I enjoy my job right now, splitting, hahaha.. Tear out the paper probably can relieve my stress, keke~ Or making Spending Units Financial Statement Review is fun indeed. I realize that now I just know a little bit from my job in the future, there are still so many things that I don’t know and need to learn, but I become more excited. It wasn’t that bad..
I mean, yeah, you know, perhaps if you have to stay in the office and have nothing to do for the whole time plus everyone is busy with their own jobs, sometimes it really makes me bored, but if you have something to do or if you feel like you get involved in their job or even they need your help to do some part of their job (even though it’s tiny/easy part), it’s really exciting.. I mean, you start to learn a new thing, you even get a chance to build your network, and you start to understand your job gradually.
Perhaps this isn’t the job that I dream of when I was child, perhaps this isn’t the job that I really want since the beginning, but I become more interested and excited and I think I still can give my best for my job right now. Well, this is my own opinion. But I’m thankful for the chance I have, for everything that God gives to me. Maybe when I placed later, I will cry or get homesick if I get a place that is so far far away from my hometown, but still it’s the risk that I should face. It’s my decision to enter this college with all its consequences, including to be ready for work and serve as a public servant in a remote place.
Well, enough for the office-things, now I want to tell about my love-life. Yes, I’m in love with someone who doesn’t even really know me. We only met for couple times. So, he is working in this place I ever work too. He is my senior, he is 8 years older than me. But I’m madly in love with him. I know we only met a few times, but I heard a lot stories about him from his boss. His boss told me that he is being teased as “Mr. 8 GB”, he could stand with cold, he likes eating krupuk, he got internal scholarship for his bachelor’s degree, etc. He seems funny, smart, and nice. All of his boss stories only makes me want to know him more. I even ever saw him teasing other worker’s children and he looks totally CUTE~
I don’t know what he thinks about me. Does he hate me? Did he ever mad or feel annoyed because of me? How does he feel when people in the office teasing him about me? What does he think about me? A young fragile teenager who got a crush on him? Since he doesn’t know what his boss had told me, (well, he leave for a week when I work there, he took a vacation and went home to his hometown) perhaps he even wondering how could a stranger like me become his fans?
I don’t know, many things come into my mind. But for sure, I’m in love with him. And I miss him so much these days. Moreover, I can’t meet him whenever I want. It must be so weird if I suddenly come into his office without any reason or something to do. But he doesn’t know this. I mean, I think he knows that I like him or I’m his fans or something, but he doesn’t know that I really miss him these days. He doesn’t know that I was really happy receiving his SMS or when I met him. He doesn’t know that I really wish to talk a lot with him, telling his boss stories about him and teasing him. He doesn’t know… I really want to forget him, but I can’t. I even sometimes become so sad or depressed (haha, too much, isn’t it? :p) when I remember about him. Aahhh, I’m really going crazy, you know??
But when I think about it, I realize that now he is looking for a mature woman to be his wife. He won’t look at such a young fragile teenager like me. I still have many dreams, goals, and wishes to be achieved. I still want to continue my study, to study abroad, and so many more… Well, i guess right now I just have to be more patient, waiting for my prince charming to come into my life, hahaha.. Because slats won’t be swapped, will them? :)
